urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:itln_stallionMy life, and the twist and turnsitln_stallionitln_stallion2005-03-03T01:45:57Zurn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:itln_stallion:623Things are adjusting2005-03-03T01:45:57Z2005-03-03T01:45:57ZcoldplayI am in a pretty good mood right now, really chill and just takin it easy. I wish I had a gf, but it will come. Things aren't so bad right now, they are getting better but I don't want to jinx it. Today was kinda hectic, I ran around all over the place. I feel like I never sleep, and I never want to do my homework. Other than the fact, I am figuring things out, and picking up the peices in my life, everything is good. Everyone has to make adjustments at sometime in there life. I want my chance to perform so bad, If I am patient it will come. <br /><br />Josh Kellyurn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:itln_stallion:462life2005-02-28T06:48:46Z2005-02-28T06:48:46ZMy life is sucking right now, I don't feel like I am doing anything with it. It's like I came to school thinking I knew what I wanted to do and now I don't know. I know that I want to act, but I am not doing it where I am, but then I don't know if I want to leave. Everybody around me thinks I am gay, and I don't understand. I feel like I do so much for other people just to have them shove it in my face and shit on my kindness and generosity. Why do people have to be so judgemental, why do you have to be a certain way to be socially accepted. I mean if you don't fit someones standards you are lower than them. I am getting told by a friend that I am not religious enough and a sinner. Why would someone tell me that, It is my life and my walk with god not his. I am tired of people telling me what I am doing wrong or right. I am tired of being judged for who I am. I am tired of having people not understand me and make assumptions about me like you are conceited or whatever. I just wish everything would fall into place and be better, but then again, I can't force that. I have to let things work themselves out, but why. Why can't I be happy, I try things out to make me happy, but by the end of the day I am sad again. I am tired of it all and I wish I could just find a place and scream and let it all out. I also get lonely and I wish I didn't have to feel that way, I wish I could find someone to be with. But again, I can't force that I have to let it happen. So what is it that I have to do,I mean I don't mean to confuse, but what are all of us on this world doing, all most of us are doing is experiencing pain, but we have to be strong right, so what do we do, we tell ourselves that things will get better, but sometimes it takes forever for them to get better, and you want to give up but you need to be strong. So you suck it up and fight through it and then you reach times when you are confused and you don't know what to do but you have to live with the decision you make. Life is full of turmoil, but we have to be strong. I just wish things where easier, but what can you do you know.